Divorce Counseling
There is no need to go through one of the most painful times of your life alone. Psychotherapy and phone counseling can help and support you. Divorce or the loss of a significant relationship is the second (after death) most stressful event of your lifetime. You may be suffering from feelings of anger, sadness, hopelessness, fear, and loneliness. If you have children these fears also include the fear and uncertainty of what is best for your children. Of course there are also the logistical, legal every day issues of custody and co-parenting. Many people suffer a dramatic shift in their lifestyle, living situation and economic reality.
Divorce counseling and phone counseling will provide:
• a place to process your feelings, providing divorce advice and support to get through the process of your divorce.
• divorce advice for the stages of loss including denial, grief, anger and depression.
• empowerment to focus on the importance of an amiable co-parenting agreement stressing collaboration in your divorce agreement.
• focus on your own self care; emotional, physical and spiritual health.
• understanding of your needs and boundaries.
• development of communication skills
• a way to let go of the past, the drama and turmoil and envisioning your future
• healing the wounds of your relationship, building confidence and regaining self-esteem.
• confronting the anger that can keeps you stuck and move toward acceptance of your new life.
Parenting Advice – The Impact of Divorce on Children Infants and Toddlers
• loss of development (regression)
• temper tantrums and aggressive behavior
• fearfulness – clinginess, increased crying
What parents can do:
• maintain consistency
• provide extra love and affection
• remain calm about regressive behavior Preschoolers
• feelings of abandonment, separation anxiety
• tendency to blame self for their parents divorce
• regressive behavior
What parents can do:
• reassure your child that she/he is loved by both parents and that they are not to blame for the divorce
• explain the changes in schedule and routines
• review daily events with them
• be patient and spend one on one time with each child
Elementary Age
• strong feelings of loss, sadness and anger
• loyalty conflicts
• fantasies of reconciliation
• denial
• feelings of rejection and shame What parents can do:
• discuss the divorce in age appropriate ways but refrain from adult issues
• never make negative remarks about your ex-spouse
• talk to teachers about the changes that occurring
• encourage visitation with the other parent
• encourage your child to discuss their feelings, look for opportunities for the child to open up to you and then LISTEN
Adolescence
• feelings of self-blame and guilt
• lowered self-esteem
• becoming withdrawn, look for forms of escape (skipping school, running away, lack of interest in usual activities, grades dropping, alcohol/drug use)
What parents can do:
• set reasonable limits, boundaries, rules and curfews
• do not turn to the teenager for support, assistance or companionship
• do not put the teenager in a position of taking sides
• keep lines of communication open, look for opportunities for the child to open up to you and then LISTEN
• encourage continued involvement in outside activities
As the grief subsides you will be able to focus on your future and see a new beginning for yourself. Phone counseling can help you discover the opportunities in your future. As an experienced divorce therapist I can help you envision a new life.
We can talk and I can support you through this difficult time. Seeking therapy is a courageous step and shows that you are committed to caring for yourself and your family.
If you are looking for divorce counseling give me a
call 802-496-7135 or email me.
